It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the sound I heard when I was 9 and my father slammed the front door so hard behind him I swear to god it shook the whole house. For the next 3 years I watched my mother break her teeth on vodka bottles. I think she stopped breathing when he left. I think part of her died. I think he took her heart with him when he walked out. Her chest is empty, just a shattered mess or cracked ribs and depression pills.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s all the blood in the sink. It’s the night that I spent 12 hours in the emergency room waiting to see if my sister was going to be okay, after the boy she loved, told her he didn’t love her anymore. It’s the crying, and the fluorescent lights, and white sneakers and pale faces and shaky breaths and blood. So much blood.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the time that I had to stay up for two days straight with my best friend while she cried and shrieked and threw up on my bedroom floor because her boyfriend fucked his ex. I swear to god she still has tear streaks stained onto her cheeks. I think when you love someone, it never really goes away.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the six weeks we had a substitute in English because our teacher was getting divorced and couldn’t handle getting out of bed. When she came back she was smiling. But her hands shook so hard when she held her coffee, you could see that something was broken inside. And sometimes when things break, you can’t fix them. Nothing ever goes back to how it was. I got an A in English that year. I think her head was always spinning too hard to read any essays.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s that I do.
westerners are obsessed with the idea of happiness as if it’s a constant state of being. happiness comes in moments. you dont “achieve” happiness. you experience it along with every other emotion on the spectrum. if you spend your life chasing this constructed idea of happiness you will never even be remotely content. work on being whole and feeling everything while increasing the happy moments. stop trying to be a “happy person.” just be a person.
marry someone whose laughter sounds better than your favorite song
Art is like butterflies. It is not about the hands, but the wings.
Whatever you create, it is art.
Art is not about impressing people.
Art is not about being realistic and 3D,
but the process, the meaning, the words and stories behind, and/or the intention.
"What makes you create this?"
"What do you want people to take away from this?"
"How did you do this?"
Art is psychology.
Art is poetry.
Art is philosophy and wisdom.
Art is self-expression.
Art is a passion.
I couldn’t tell you how to be an artist. Nobody could.
Not even Art Schools, not even professional artists.
My mom always mock my works,
she’s saying "it has really big eyes", etc.
My sister keep telling me,
“why are your drawings are like these? Make it beautiful!”
"It’s ugly. Can you make it better?"
My old best friend commented on my painting.
“Look! It has hotdog on the face,” she said and laugh so hard after.
My brother-in-law looked at my painting and he said to his daughter
"Oh, a dog." But that is a face. And his tone is serious and innocent.
People always give comments. Even though I never asked for it.
It hurts. It makes me feel so small. I kills my faith on my passion. But despite everything, I continue to create. I continue to learn. I still hear criticisms. But I know now how to handle it.
Art keeps artists sane. It suffices the needs of their minds.
If you are born artist, you’ll die artist.
If you are not born artist, but you really want to be one, study.
My BUTTERFLY icon symbolizes my perspective in anything, specially in life, art and writing.
BUTTERFLIES. FREEDOM, PEACE, COURAGE, TRUTH, BEAUTY, RECKLESSNESS, FRAGILITY, STRANGENESS, METAMORPHOSIS.
WILDFLOWERS. DON’T DIE. CONTINUE TO GROW AND MULTIPLY. BE ORIGINAL. IT’S BEAUTIFUL, NO MATTER WHAT.
i’m thankful my childhood was filled with imagination and bruises from playing outside, instead of apps and how many damn likes you get on a picture
No, I don’t really identify with any religion. But I really like Buddhism. I like what they have to say. It’s less “worship this all powerful being in the sky who dominates and controls all and will torture you if you do not follow what he has to say” and more “just do you, but don’t be an asshole”